The best leaders have the capacity to love.  They combine the ability to be competent and warm hearted.  If you are looking for a way to use Valentine’s Day to increase your impact, here are a few steps to consider:

  1.  Focus your attention on the people or person who benefits from your actions.  Help them.  Don’t worry about what other people think.
  2. Focus on your strengths.  Build on what other people value in you.  Stop trying to change your development needs.  Acknowledge and accept your weaknesses, find a work-around.  Get off the perfection cycle — turn off the focus on your “to-do” list, the “everything is a priority”, the tactical, reactive approach with no time to reflect because work is never done.  Turn on your creativity, intuition, reflect and focus on the “big picture” and reflect on what you really want.  Breathe and be calm.
  3. Focus on what you can control.  Stop focusing on things outside of your control which only activates a stress reaction.   Be so consumed by what you can control, you build confidence and competence.
  4. Focus on your “magic bullet” – when your strengths and aspirations align with what others need from you.  Create a phase or work that captures your “magic bullet” and allow it to become your mantra.

Celebrate Valentine’s Day by giving your love to others.  Watch your confidence explode!

For more insights on building competence and warmth, check on Sharon Melnick’s new book, “Success Under Stress:  Powerful Tools for Staying Calm, Confident, and Productive Under Pressure.”